Anniversaries

Today I went to a 50th wedding anniversary.

There is something almost magical about two people who have made such a lifelong committment. There is a myth that we have gotten away from this kind of committment, but even in young people, I still see what I think is a bond that goes far beyond the little disagreements and issues that will always arise between two people.

50 years is a great milestone. Personally my wife and I are at 41 years, so 50 begins to look like a certainty. (The first 40 years are the toughest??)

The pair celebrating today now number 36 among themselves, their children and grandchildren. I find that impressive.

They say geese mate for life, so it shouldn't be a surprise if people do. What sets people apart is the capacity for choice that allows us to break away from instinctive behaviour. Once choice becomes embedded into culture, then culture assumes the role of a new instinct.

In parts of our societies, culture has led to this new instinct, in this case one of easy divorces and temporary relationships, even casual relationships. I don't want to judge this as necessarily good or bad, dependent on circumstances, but I cannot help thinking of that 50 year committment and what it means to all 36 people in that family group. It means stability, and a kind of love that goes far past the momentary anger and occasional frustrations that we all feel as members of a household.

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